Ever feel like you're not enough (as a writer)?
The most confident person you’ve ever met may also be the most insecure. If they’re a writer, that is.
When you aim really high, as I believe most writers do, it can be hard to stave off the feeling some days of not being enough. Here’s a little something I’ve written about this common condition:
Not Enough
Not productive enough, talented enough, original enough.
Not edgy enough, deep enough, clever enough.
Not soul baring enough. Traumatic enough. Tragic enough.
Not long enough, short enough, page turner enough.
Not timely enough, zeitgeist enough, Marvel comics enough.
Not categorizable enough. Self-help enough. Literary enough.
Not well known enough.
Not bidding war enough, two-book deal enough, book-to-TV-or-film enough.
Not New Yorker enough, New York Times-bestseller enough.
Not podcast-ready enough, Tweeted enough, Tik Tokked enough.
Not Didion enough, Sedaris enough, Gay enough.
Not nearly James Baldwin enough.
Not enough.
Oh, no, you might be thinking. Page Fright is meant to motivate writers, not push them over a cliff, barreling down a waterfall of despair.
But here’s what I want to tell you: I think it’s okay to feel “not enough” as a writer sometimes. It’s a natural response to wanting so badly for your writing to match your imagination of what your writing can be. It shows you’re aiming high. And, while all writers might not suffer from “not enoughness,” many of us do and still keep writing, striving, improving, and producing meaningful work.
Do you ever feel like you’re not enough as a writer? I’d love if you’d share your experiences with this common “condition” in the comments below. Also, feel free to reply to other readers’ responses. I really appreciate your willingness to be open with the rest of this growing writers’ community
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Early in my career in business I was looking for a job and prepared a resume. I didn't have the confidence to rely on my own judgment, so I asked a number of people in high positions in business to offer suggestions for improvement. Each suggestion I received I would duly incorporate into the resume. I changed titles, I changed emphasis, I changed the ordering of the sections. I took out my doctorate ('who cares in business if you have a doctorate'), I put in the insurance exams I had taken, etc. etc.
In the end I couldn't recognize myself at all, so I trashed the whole thing.
It seems to me that all of those "not enough"s are instances of a single underlying "not enough:" Not MYSELF enough. How can I write compellingly if I'm constantly measuring myself against other people?
Why make writing even harder than it already is?
So, I felt pretty confident with things as I worked my way down your list of not enoughs until I reached not Didion enough. That hit hard. Your list of not enoughs is instructive. We all harbor insecurities. If only we could harness these to inform our writing. Thanks, Meta for helping us overcome our humanity.