18 Comments
User's avatar
Brian's avatar

So, I felt pretty confident with things as I worked my way down your list of not enoughs until I reached not Didion enough. That hit hard. Your list of not enoughs is instructive. We all harbor insecurities. If only we could harness these to inform our writing. Thanks, Meta for helping us overcome our humanity.

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

Thanks, Brian. The not enoughs can be tough, but I really do believe it just means we're being hard on ourselves because we care so much.

Expand full comment
Brian's avatar

You are so right. It’s amazing how you tap into our angst. I look forward to your next insight.

Expand full comment
Janice Walton's avatar

I started writing seriously about a year ago and have that feeling most of the time. Chris makes a good point "It seems to me that all of those "not enough"s are instances of a single underlying "not enough:" Not MYSELF enough. How can I write compellingly if I'm constantly measuring myself against other people?"

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

Thanks, Janice. It's the constant comparing that's hard to stop doing. At this point, I'm trying to compare/compete with myself and stop comparing my writing with others'. It feels a lot better and more motivating for me.

Expand full comment
Janice Walton's avatar

I like that. I also keep reminding myself that I want to write and the only way to get better is to put myself out there and do it.

Expand full comment
Cali Bird's avatar

And my personal favourite - nit quick enough.

Great list that we can all relate to. I love how you re-frame this as a aiming high with our writing. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

Oh, the list could certainly go on and on!

Expand full comment
Gina Vild's avatar

Not enough Joan Didion -- for sure, always!

Important to remember no one is holding your novel up against hers and critiquing it line by line.

I never leave a negative review for books on Amazon because I think about how much went into the creating, writing and publishing. Five stars just for that!

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

I agree!

Expand full comment
Henriette Lazaridis's avatar

There was that time I gathered up my manuscripts and looked up the regulations for bonfires in my town and saw that I was good to go. That was also when I realized I’d been hedging my bets precisely because of a fear of not being good enough (which you can make excuses for if you’re not committing fully). So I didn’t burn the manuscripts after all!

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

Thank goodness! Do you know the story of how Hemingway's first wife supposedly left his manuscript for The Sun Also Rises on a train? And how Colette left hers in a taxi? I can't even imagine how their hearts must have sunk. So, I'm glad you held onto yours!

Expand full comment
Henriette Lazaridis's avatar

Oh my god that’s right. Well, the good news is that there really wasn’t anything in those manuscripts the world would have missed :-)

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

Ha! (But I do love Colette.)

Expand full comment
Henriette Lazaridis's avatar

Oh but I meant -my- manuscripts. Mine were disposable!

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

Oh, ha! I misunderstood!

Expand full comment
Defending Democracy's avatar

Early in my career in business I was looking for a job and prepared a resume. I didn't have the confidence to rely on my own judgment, so I asked a number of people in high positions in business to offer suggestions for improvement. Each suggestion I received I would duly incorporate into the resume. I changed titles, I changed emphasis, I changed the ordering of the sections. I took out my doctorate ('who cares in business if you have a doctorate'), I put in the insurance exams I had taken, etc. etc.

In the end I couldn't recognize myself at all, so I trashed the whole thing.

It seems to me that all of those "not enough"s are instances of a single underlying "not enough:" Not MYSELF enough. How can I write compellingly if I'm constantly measuring myself against other people?

Why make writing even harder than it already is?

Expand full comment
Meta Wagner's avatar

Chris, this is such a great example. Imagine someone thinking a PhD would not be impressive even if it wasn't directly related to business? "This above all--to thine own self be true," right?

Expand full comment