Thank you for this piece, Meta. The duality (dichotomy?) you describe is very real. I would say that being able to acknowledge, and feel that in ourselves is a trait that propels us to write. Your piece raises the awareness writers need to protect their gregarious introversion.
I feel particularly sympathetic to this situation. Your description of yourself as mentioned in your article is also my description of myself "gregarious introvert". Others think I'm an outgoing person, and only I know how important it is to me to be alone. Sometimes I get frustrated when I post an article and not many people read it, and I don't feel motivated to keep going. Thank you for the method you mentioned in it, I generally like to write in a coffee shop, there is an open space where I can see all kinds of people, but no one will disturb my writing!
Ah, then there is the opposite problem -- after working with talk-talk-talk/people-people-people/meetings-meetings-meetings--the balm of a solo life is scarily wonderful. Each year I must force myself out more, before I fall supremely to the call of the introvert side of my introverted/extrovert personality. Once Covid hit and I stopped doing events, the siren song of solitude overwhelms me with comfort. Remember to keep dragging me out, Meta!
Your support obviously!! It’s pivotal to me to surround myself with books and likeminded humans AND to remember that just because I don’t always write doesn’t mean I’m not a writer :)
Wow… this concept of dual living sometimes extrovert, sometimes hermit really resonates with me. My career fed this well as an airline pilot. I could easily operate in a convivial work environment: confined for 14-15 hours in a tuna can, soaring across half the globe at a stretch. But then I’d want to be apart for layovers. Exploring the locality, insinuating myself now and then into lives of locals. Unfortunately jet-lag kept me from being too productive at writing, but I convinced myself I was gathering a lot of material.
I live in the mountains. I can go days without interacting with anyone and be quite content. I laugh at myself when my nearest neighbor comes by to visit, because I often find it intrusive. I don’t like to be interrupted when I’m writing, sometimes the muse answers the door and keeps running. I lent my place to my son so he could study for the bar, thinking the solitude would be helpful. He said it drove him nuts. He looked into the abyss and found he was indeed a social animal. Me? I can swing both ways. If you observe me, you would think I’m quite social, but the next day I could check into a cloistered monastery. Thanks for touching on this aspect of writers, Meta. I thought I was an oddity when perhaps I’m just prototypical. I like Susan H’s proud ambiversion. I think I’ll embrace that part of me… do we get our own flag? :-)
I love the solitude of writing. I have lots of other things I have to do in life so I guess that gets me out in the world. And it is always a relief to spend an hour with a coffee and with my laptop to put some more words together. There are times though when you need another opinion on your writing or you need to talk to someone about the choices you are making. So I guess we need both solitude and people
Also, Cali, I tried recommending your newsletter, Gentle Creative, on my Substack page. (And thank you for recommending mine!) Do you know how I can see where my recommendations are? And is there a way to DM? txs
Great piece, Meta. Like you, I spend hours and hours each day alone, and in silence (I can't do the coffeehouse buzz when I'm writing). But I -love- to socialize. As with my passion for sports, I see the social and the solitary as the opposite of antagonists (the other pairing being sports and arts). I think they are, as you say here, necessary--or you can make them necessary to each other, the one fueling the other in really powerful ways.
My first book was written with a co-author and that was magic because we clicked on every level. The social aspect of it and having a glass of wine after finishing a day’s work made it a wonderful experience. I recommend a co-author for anyone who fears the solitude.
My second book I’m going solo. I intersperse the loneliness by asking my friends what they think of this or that about the concept or what I have written. Maybe it’s a distraction but it serves me as I write.
My one suggestion which I’m trying to live is to set a limit for writing and plug into the calendar something social when you’re finished.
Thank you for this piece, Meta. The duality (dichotomy?) you describe is very real. I would say that being able to acknowledge, and feel that in ourselves is a trait that propels us to write. Your piece raises the awareness writers need to protect their gregarious introversion.
Thanks, Iolanda. We writers certainly seem to possess a "multitude" of contradictions (which I'd like to think help us in our writing.
This is very well said 'Just you and your laptop or desktop or journal. Hour after hour. Day after day. No wonder so many writers I know have pets.'
Writing is a thrill when actually writing, when 'trying' to create - different story.
Nice post here.
Thanks, David. And thanks for subscribing!
I feel particularly sympathetic to this situation. Your description of yourself as mentioned in your article is also my description of myself "gregarious introvert". Others think I'm an outgoing person, and only I know how important it is to me to be alone. Sometimes I get frustrated when I post an article and not many people read it, and I don't feel motivated to keep going. Thank you for the method you mentioned in it, I generally like to write in a coffee shop, there is an open space where I can see all kinds of people, but no one will disturb my writing!
Only, thanks for this comment. We writers really do need what coffeeshops seem to provide - aloneness and connection at the same time.
Ah, then there is the opposite problem -- after working with talk-talk-talk/people-people-people/meetings-meetings-meetings--the balm of a solo life is scarily wonderful. Each year I must force myself out more, before I fall supremely to the call of the introvert side of my introverted/extrovert personality. Once Covid hit and I stopped doing events, the siren song of solitude overwhelms me with comfort. Remember to keep dragging me out, Meta!
There may have to be another issue of Page Fright devoted to this!
Your support obviously!! It’s pivotal to me to surround myself with books and likeminded humans AND to remember that just because I don’t always write doesn’t mean I’m not a writer :)
I'll be addressing that last point soon--why do writers have such concerns about whether or not they can call themselves writers?
I totally live and feel this. I live on a pond. Rarely see my neighbors (maybe a writer as well?).
Ha! You don't happen to live on Walden Pond, do you? :)
I wish. I live on Fresh Pond.
Wow… this concept of dual living sometimes extrovert, sometimes hermit really resonates with me. My career fed this well as an airline pilot. I could easily operate in a convivial work environment: confined for 14-15 hours in a tuna can, soaring across half the globe at a stretch. But then I’d want to be apart for layovers. Exploring the locality, insinuating myself now and then into lives of locals. Unfortunately jet-lag kept me from being too productive at writing, but I convinced myself I was gathering a lot of material.
I live in the mountains. I can go days without interacting with anyone and be quite content. I laugh at myself when my nearest neighbor comes by to visit, because I often find it intrusive. I don’t like to be interrupted when I’m writing, sometimes the muse answers the door and keeps running. I lent my place to my son so he could study for the bar, thinking the solitude would be helpful. He said it drove him nuts. He looked into the abyss and found he was indeed a social animal. Me? I can swing both ways. If you observe me, you would think I’m quite social, but the next day I could check into a cloistered monastery. Thanks for touching on this aspect of writers, Meta. I thought I was an oddity when perhaps I’m just prototypical. I like Susan H’s proud ambiversion. I think I’ll embrace that part of me… do we get our own flag? :-)
I really do think this is common among writers. And I also think we should get our own flag. :)
Proud ambivert here. Love to be out and about, but when I'm done it's like a switch gets flipped.
Great way of decribing it
I love the solitude of writing. I have lots of other things I have to do in life so I guess that gets me out in the world. And it is always a relief to spend an hour with a coffee and with my laptop to put some more words together. There are times though when you need another opinion on your writing or you need to talk to someone about the choices you are making. So I guess we need both solitude and people
So true--when I'm kept away from my writing with too much busyness, I miss it and can't wait to return to my coffee and laptop!
Also, Cali, I tried recommending your newsletter, Gentle Creative, on my Substack page. (And thank you for recommending mine!) Do you know how I can see where my recommendations are? And is there a way to DM? txs
Great piece, Meta. Like you, I spend hours and hours each day alone, and in silence (I can't do the coffeehouse buzz when I'm writing). But I -love- to socialize. As with my passion for sports, I see the social and the solitary as the opposite of antagonists (the other pairing being sports and arts). I think they are, as you say here, necessary--or you can make them necessary to each other, the one fueling the other in really powerful ways.
Exactly--one fuels the other!
My first book was written with a co-author and that was magic because we clicked on every level. The social aspect of it and having a glass of wine after finishing a day’s work made it a wonderful experience. I recommend a co-author for anyone who fears the solitude.
My second book I’m going solo. I intersperse the loneliness by asking my friends what they think of this or that about the concept or what I have written. Maybe it’s a distraction but it serves me as I write.
My one suggestion which I’m trying to live is to set a limit for writing and plug into the calendar something social when you’re finished.
I think running your writing by others isn't just a distraction--I bet it's motivating for you!